Words have creative power....

I have been thinking a lot about words I speak and how powerful they are. Words create. Either something good or something bad. Words spoken can change the atmosphere in a room in an instant. It affects you and those around you. The words you speak today, determine where you are tomorrow.

I have not been sick one day this past year. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I was sick. I thank God for divine health every day. When other people around me (mostly people at work cause that's where I am most of the time) talk about the cold coming on or "it's winter now, so I'll probably get sick soon." All I say is, I never get sick! they do and I don't :D Praise God!! I am confident in the Lord and His principles. We believe and therefor speak. You have what you (constantly) say. You end up believing what you say if you keep saying it. Faith comes by hearing. So, what you end up believing depends on what you are listening to on a daily basis.

So, think about what you say.

God is my healer! my provider! my constant help!

what is the deal?

I don't break down, I don't really cry much. I cried today... I think, after 4 months of waiting for my visa, I had had enough and the dam broke. I have tried to keep it in, smile and say everything will be just fine. And it will. No matter the outcome, I will be OK. But it just doesn't feel like it right now.

I miss my family more than you can imagine. I miss my dog. My car. My trips to get coffee. The sun... I'm not one to feel sorry for myself and I hate it when I do. I can't stay sad very long, it just isn't who I am. And thank God for that! I do catch myself thinking sometimes though, what if...I don't get the visa? What then? What am I supposed to do? but I can't really allow myself to go there. If I do, I'm in a real emotional mess.

I don't even know how to write about this in a way that makes sense. I just need to get it out. I feel a bit better when I do and I don't think a whole lot of people read this anyway, so it's probably not that big of a deal...

What is the deal?

I'm frustrated. I want to make something happen and I can't. My hands are tied, so to speak, and I don't like it. I like to be able to do something practical, to see some progress. I don't like the not knowing part. It's very uncomfortable. I just need some feedback! Dear Lord!

Running out of patience...

I'm bored out of my mind, it's dark outside, and I'm soooooo close to loosing my patience with the US Embassy and the stupid visa application. WHAT IS TAKING SO FREAKING LONG???? I want to scream it from the top of my lungs, if it would only make a difference. My friends birthday is coming up and Ionly hope I'll make it back in town for it. James says that the working of your faith produces patience. Well, I'm just about to run out. The word also says when you have done all to stand, then keep standing. Well, I'm definitely trying. James also said count it all joy when you fall into various trials... I'm counting... 1 joy, 2 joy, 3 joy...... 10 joy. LOL!!! Encouraging myself in the Lord for He is on my side.

I'm excited about the thought of being back in the states soon. I'm planning on doing the Tulsa run in the fall and will start training for that as soon as I'm back in town. I think having a goal like that will help me stay focused on getting healthier. I'm determined to make this my best year yet. And my 30's to be the best time of my life.

Ciao!

I'm having a moment...

I'm ready to freak out any minute now, well... almost... LOL! It's Saturday evening and I have been stuck inside all... day... long... I feel so stuck in this apartment sometimes it's not even funny. I'm so used to being able to get in my car and go anywhere I want whenever I want to.... I don't do well with small spaces. I thought I was doing well before Christmas, but I guess being home over the holidays I got used to the way things were.... and loved it! I miss it.... and I miss all my friends... I stay up late just so that I can chat with some of them... those that are online anyhow.... I'm struggling, just a little, with being back here this time so I'm taking a deep breath... I calm myself down and try to focus on taking one day at a time. And then, before I know it, it will be time to buy a plane ticket and go home!! For good! until then... have a lovely weekend... and no worries... tomorrow I'll be just fine :D

A new years resolution...?

I don't usually make new years resolutions. Why? Because I never end up doing them... maybe because I'm a big procrastinator, or maybe it's because no one else seems to follow up on their new year resolutions either... so why bother...?

This year I do have one, if you want to call it that.... It's not so much a new years resolution, more of a determination to make some changes and maybe that way I'll actually make it happen... (lol). Anyhow, I was having a conversation with a friend over Christmas about friendships and what my friends all have in common... other than me ;) They are all creative in some form. Actors, musicians, writers, photographers, graphic designers, and then there's me... Why do I surround myself with so many creative people, and I didn't choose them based on their creativity... rather I feel in a way they chose me ... I do not see myself as very creative, but I'm drawn to those who are... I would like to be and I have made a decision recently to develop whatever creativity I have inside. I love music, I love literature, I love photography, and I love art, and I wish I could write. But I'm not good at either of it. But maybe I can get better if I just applied myself...and wasn't so scared of trying...

Jet lagged!

I'm back in the old country again after an awesome trip to visit friends and family for Christmas. I was not ready to leave them all this time. I'm not sure why, but this trip was different than the last one. In October I came just to visit for two weeks and then go back to Norway and work and to wait for my visa application results. This time my visit seemed more final. Like I was really home and should have stayed. The day before I was scheduled to leave I walked around with a knot in my stomach all day and I was wondering what the deal was. Later I found out that my mom and dad had that same knot. During the day dad had checked the weather report and found out that there was an ice storm headed for Philadelphia the day I was supposed to fly through there. So, with that information we decided to change my flight until the following day. I felt soooo much better after that. The knot was gone and I felt complete peace about leaving. Not that I wanted to leave still, but I definitely had peace about it now. And I got to hang out with a friend who I wouldn't have been able to see this time if I hadn't changed my ticket... I still don't really know why I didn't have peace about going on my original date, as far as I know the planes were coming and going as scheduled. But I guess it really doesn't matter. I choose to believe that I was led by the Holy Spirit not to leave and to stay one more day... :)